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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27544462">to watch you build a collection of dreams</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyfish/pseuds/lazyfish'>lazyfish</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>atlas: life [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff and Angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:20:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27544462</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyfish/pseuds/lazyfish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hunter’s first minutes with his daughter.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>atlas: life [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2013385</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>to watch you build a collection of dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorofaos/gifts">doctorofaos</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hunter’s daughter was asleep on his chest. It was a fact, but he still couldn’t believe it. He had a <em>daughter</em>. She was small and pink and wrinkled, but she was also the second-most beautiful thing Hunter had ever seen. (The first most beautiful was Bobbi’s face when she was handed the baby - the way the fatigue had evaporated from her expression like mist in the afternoon sun, how she’d smiled, and smiled, and smiled, so big and bright that Hunter would never forget today if only for Bobbi’s smile.)</p><p>Now the baby smelled faintly of Bobbi’s body wash and hospital disinfectant and sleep, and Hunter sat vigil as his not-quite-wife took a well-deserved rest. They’d been at the hospital since the early morning, and now it was well past sundown. If they’d had anyone to visit them, they’d probably be disappointed since visiting hours were long over. They didn’t have anyone to visit, though - just a rough draft of a letter Hunter would be sending with hopes of getting published in Ballblaster Hooligans. Fitz hadn’t sent an update through the magazine since Hunter had broken him out of prison, but Hunter supposed that was just the S.H.I.E.L.D. life. Sure, that was four years ago and it was unlikely there were so many cataclysmic events happening that one letter would be too distracting, but Hunter was in a charitable mood today. He wasn’t going to let anything ruin his daughter’s birthday.</p><p>The baby shifted slightly in her sleep and Hunter froze as she snuffled before settling back against his naked chest, her tiny fingers flexing and curling against his skin as if trying to find purchase somewhere. Hunter ducked his head, brushing a kiss across the top of his daughter’s hair. The tufts of hair were soft and wispy, blonde enough that she looked bald unless you knew to look. In most ways the baby was the spitting image of her mother, right down to the dimples Bobbi insisted she herself didn’t have. They’d spent a long time arguing about dimples, but it was preferable to arguing about secrets and lies and shifty-eyed spies.</p><p>The one thing they hadn’t argued about before the baby came was her name. The envelope with the baby’s name was still sitting at the bottom of the hospital bag, waiting to be opened whenever the nurse came in with the birth certificate. Izzy had picked the name nearly a decade ago, when they’d first talked about kids and Bobbi had lamented how her family’s tradition of the grandparents picking their oldest grandchild’s name would die with her. <em>It’s fine</em>, she’d said then. <em>At least the baby won’t end up with a terrible name like Barbara</em>. But Izzy was even more stubborn than Bobbi was - just one thing Hunter loved about her - and had insisted that she could fill the role of surrogate grandmother. <em>Even if I’m definitely not old enough to be your parents</em>, she’d added with a roll of her eyes and that fond, crooked grin she liked to give them when she was teasing. </p><p>It wasn’t that they didn’t trust Izzy’s naming skills (Hunter was convinced she had spent literal hours thinking up the perfect names, even if Izzy would never admit it), just that knowing the baby’s name, picked from beyond the grave, would be a touch of bittersweet. They had fought tooth and nail every day since finding out Bobbi was pregnant not to let all the things they were missing dampen their excitement for their child. Yes, it would hurt that they couldn’t share their daughter with everyone they loved - but she was still <em>here</em> and still <em>perfect</em> and Hunter wouldn’t give her up for anything. Izzy wouldn’t have wanted them to give the baby up for her sake.</p><p>The baby stirred again but didn’t settle. Instead, she began rooting against Hunter’s chest, her lips smacking. “I’m the wrong parent for that, little bird,” Hunter murmured. He glanced over to the bed where Bobbi was still sleeping peacefully. She had fed the baby when she’d first been born, but that was two hours ago, and it wasn’t a surprise she was hungry again. “Let’s wake your mum up, then,” he sighed. </p><p>Bobbi was awake before he had even touched her shoulder, and Hunter tried not to think too hard about what superpower she had developed in the last eight hours to make that possible. Bobbi reached wordlessly for the baby and Hunter handed her over, watching as Bobbi situated her on her chest.</p><p>Sitting there as Bobbi held onto their child, Hunter couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. There was a whole <em>human</em> in Bobbi’s arms, one she had spent the last nine months stitching together through morning sickness and mood swings and sleepless nights. She was trusting him to do right by her - by them both - and while he could never imagine disappointing them on purpose, Hunter knew enough about himself to know he sometimes disappointed entirely on accident.</p><p>“I want to open the envelope,” Bobbi said, stroking a finger down the back of the baby’s head. </p><p>Hunter nodded and grabbed the hospital bag, digging past Bobbi’s spare clothes and snacks and other necessities until he found the envelope. It was labeled <em>Girl</em> in Izzy’s neat print, underlined twice. They had always wondered why the envelopes were so thick if they were just supposed to be the baby’s name, and now Hunter supposed they were going to find out.</p><p>“You ready?” Bobbi asked.</p><p>“No.” He took a deep breath, fighting against the choking in his throat. “She should be here.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Bobbi said, adjusting her grip on the baby as if to assure herself their daughter was still there. “Yeah, she should be.”</p><p>Maybe in another, kinder world, Izzy would’ve been with them. Maybe, but maybe not - which was why they had the stupid envelope in the first place.</p><p>“Open it,” Bobbi said softly.</p><p>Hunter took another bracing breath before tearing into the envelope. Inside there were two separate bundles - one a single slip of paper, and the other a letter that was several pages long. Hunter turned over the slip first, assuming that would be what contained the baby’s name. He was right. </p><p>“Andromeda Spero Morse-Hunter,” he announced after squinting down at the paper. A few broken golden beams of light from the street lamps outside slipped through the blinds, but otherwise the room was dark and not ideal for reading - especially not the tiny asterisk Izzy had written under the baby’s legal name. “But call her Andy.”</p><p>“That is so, <em>so</em> much better than Barbara Ann.”</p><p>“You said it, not me.” Hunter forced a smile. The baby - <em>Andy</em> - was done feeding, and Hunter reached his arms out for her, throwing the letter Izzy had written onto the bedside table.</p><p>“You’re being very greedy, you know that?” Bobbi asked as she handed the baby over.</p><p>“You need to sleep,” Hunter said, leaning down to kiss Bobbi’s forehead even as he began to get Andy settled back against his chest. “You didn’t even notice I was half-naked.”</p><p>“Me noticing your state of nudity is how we got into this mess,” Bobbi muttered.</p><p>“Liar.” Having a baby had been far from an accident. They had known how big of a change a child would be, and only wanted to take that step forward when they were well and truly ready for it.</p><p>“You going to read the letter?” Bobbi asked.</p><p>“I’ll wait for you to be back up,” he deflected easily. He wasn’t sure he was ready to read the letter. It would be the last piece of Izzy they had - though maybe if they had another baby, they could use her name for a boy, too. Banking on another child wasn’t something Hunter was willing to do, though; he and Bobbi hadn’t hashed out anything beyond one. Besides, he didn’t want to keep her from sleep by turning on one of the lamps.</p><p>“Baby,” Bobbi said, reaching for his hand that wasn’t occupied cradling Andy close to him. “It’s going to be okay.”</p><p>“I think that’s my line.”</p><p>“Come here.” Bobbi scooted over until her hip was pressed against the railing, leaving barely enough room for Hunter to slide into the hospital bed beside her. “I can’t sleep when you’re not next to me.”</p><p>Hunter wasn’t brave enough to call his wife a liar twice in as many minutes, so he just allowed her to settle against his shoulder, brushing a quick kiss against her temple. Bobbi smiled up at him, but it didn't take her long after that to slip into sleep, leaving him alone in the darkness.</p><p>Andy was still awake, her tiny palms flat against his sternum and her head resting in the space between his collarbones. Every time he breathed his chest rose and fell and Andy rose and fell with it. The movement didn’t seem to bother her, and Hunter had to remind himself she had spent the last nine months inside Bobbi, moving when Bobbi moved. This was probably more familiar to her than sleeping alone in an isolette, which was why Hunter hadn’t had the strength to put her down.</p><p>He would have to put her down eventually, though, and that was the scariest part. The scariest part was how much he was now responsible for - this tiny little human, completely reliant on him and Bobbi. <em>Bobbi</em>, who had spent the last nine months fighting against needing to lean on him because she was the Mockingbird, fierce and independent and strong. It was easier to accept Bob would never rely on him fully, because she was the most breathtaking human he had ever met, capable of shouldering more than any one person should have to - and she was an adult, and she could take care of herself, and when push came to shove, it was always his arms she would come running to.</p><p>But Andy… Andy was small and fragile, and she wasn’t able to do anything on her own. If he messed up, there were no one else’s arms she could go running to. She couldn’t run at all, couldn’t walk, couldn’t -</p><p><em>God, Iz, I wish you were here.</em> Izzy had always been the best at knocking sense into him, and reminding him that for all the horrible endings he could imagine, there were some great ones, too. The future held so much for him - for <em>them</em>. Andy would grow up; she would take her first steps; Hunter would learn the sound of her laugh and it would become his favorite sound; she would find a place in the world and he would watch her do it; she would have dreams and he would help her chase them. The most magical part of parenthood was the infinite possibilities for the child on his chest, and the knowledge that he had already given so much so the world would be safer for her. <em>Izzy</em> had given so much for the world to be safer for her - and Bobbi, and Mack, and Fitz, and Jemma, and Daisy, and everyone else they loved. This was the reason they had worked so hard when they were at S.H.I.E.L.D.; not for the sake of one child, but for the sake of every child. They were going to leave the world better than they had received it, for their children. For their future.</p><p>And then Andy, and her friends and the people she loved - they would start it all over again. They would find the things that were still wrong in the world and fight to fix them, for their children. Time would keep hurtling forward and maybe Hunter wouldn’t be there to see all the ways his baby changed the world, but he knew one thing: he would teach her to be kind. And kindness, he had learned, was the easiest place to start to make the world brighter.</p><p>Hunter ran the tips of his fingers along Andy’s back, humming the half a lullaby he remembered from his own far-off childhood. Maybe if his parents had taken the approach to parenthood he was, he wouldn’t have ended up the way he had. But if he hadn’t ended up that way, he never would’ve met Bobbi, and that would’ve been a crying shame. Hunter hated how everything good in his life seemed to circle back to her; leaving the SAS, getting in with S.H.I.E.L.D., their marriage, and now their daughter. </p><p>He didn’t deserve it, really. He had done things to make the world better, yes, but he had also done things to make it worse. He had hurt people, he had broken bones, he had killed. Some of it was justified, but how much of it wasn’t? Would he ever know?</p><p>He pressed his lips to the top of Andy’s head, forcing himself to take a deep breath. Something about holding a baby was oddly grounding - he couldn’t let himself go off the deep end when he was holding her. Maybe that was why parents didn’t have as many existential breakdowns as they ought to; they had to wait to put the baby down to have them, and it was <em>supremely</em> difficult to want to put her down.</p><p>After he had calmed himself, Hunter turned for the letter he had left on the table. He had told Bobbi he would wait for her, but she didn’t seem to believe he would actually do it. If he read the letter…</p><p>He grabbed the letter off the table before he could stop himself, unfolding it and squinting at it. When he held it at just the right angle, a slash of light from the streetlamp let him make out a few of the words. Mostly, he just wanted to see Izzy’s handwriting and remind himself of everything that had been sacrificed to make this moment possible. </p><p>S.H.I.E.L.D. had really done a number on them, Hunter mused as he tried to maneuver the letter into someplace readable without jostling Andy or waking Bobbi. The day they’d accepted they were never going back was the same day they’d decided to have a baby. Now Hunter realized even if Coulson came knocking today, he wouldn’t go back; he had a life now, one that had no part in getting shot at or discovering conspiracies in governmental organizations. His hand still ached sometimes from the way the break he’d gotten in Russia had healed improperly, but it was nothing compared to the emotional ache - the fear of being forgotten, being useless, being alone and unloved again.</p><p>He’d never know for sure if he was forgotten, Hunter thought as he finally managed to get the letter in an appropriate location. Even if no one at S.H.I.E.L.D. ever spoke his name again, even if Fitz never sent another letter to Ballblaster Hooligans, even if Mack called someone new his best friend - that didn’t mean they didn’t still think of him, sometimes. Hunter hoped they smiled when they thought of him. Probably not, but he was allowed to hope.</p><p>He glanced down at the tiny fragment of Izzy’s letter that was illuminated and the breath was almost punched out of him.</p><p><em>Spero - I hope. </em>There was a small doodle of a bird beside the words, and Hunter guessed it was meant to convey Izzy had noticed the shared pronunciation between Spero and Sparrow. A bird for their bird, he thought with a smile tugging on his lips. </p><p>Suddenly, he didn’t feel the need to read the rest of the letter right now. He had seen what he needed to, the two most important words that he had forgotten when he was pondering Andy’s future.</p><p><em>I hope</em>.</p><p>
  <em>I hope.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy birthday, Ania! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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